Holy Shit

I have lots of things to say so I'm going to make a list to remember all of them.

1. Rob
2. Doug
3. Tom
4. Fida
(I think that's all the guy issues...)
5. Girl from Third Federal
6. Emily and your tickets
7. Heather and... something. I forget. (Later addition: Guitar Center!!)

Anyway, let's start with Rob because that is huge. That deserves a holy shit. So anywho, Heather called when I was with him today... but that's besides the point. Rob and I were going to Guitar Center because I'm buying a keyboard. (And I decided, a round stool... cause I find that more exciting than the keyboard... and a stand... and I was going to get a discoball for the apartment but it was like fourty bucks... hell no!) So anyway, we go, and I find a coolll keyboard for three hundred that I'm probably going to get by the end of the month. I want to save a bit more money first. So that takes about an hour or two... cause Guitar Center is so awesome. So we're driving back to his place, 'cause I met him there and he drove... and having tons of fun, connecting... really cool. At this point I'm getting nervous because Rob and I have always had that connection... the one where I start doing things before I think about how stupid it would be to do them.... that one. This story has a point I promise. Anywho!! We show up in his neighborhood and all of a sudden he's like, that's Chrystal in my driveway. (AS IN HIS GIRLFRIEND.) So he tells me very quickly before we pull into his drive that she knows he took me to Guitar Center. (I was freaking out.) Ok. Breathe right? So we get out of the car, and I've got my keys out, ready to leave. He introduces me, we make small talk about me not buying a keyboard, and I'm at my car door... and she's like... oh so I cleaned up the house, want to show her around?

AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, maybe I'm really freaking out about this whole issue. But I had to go into the house and pretend first, that I've never seen it before, and second that I really hardly know Rob at all, and he's just doing a favor for his brother's friend??!?!?!?!!

Ok ok ok. I'm sure now all of you are freaking out. I was a bad girl, I should have never ever ever done anything with a guy who had a girlfriend. But I did. And, for the most part, to make you feel better, I came before her... and unfortunately, he hooked up with her while I was at FUS last year, and "he and I" continued when I returned... even though she was in the picture. But, last summer, when she was out of the picture, we both were single. Promise. So, yeah. Two years of being Rob's ...?? And here I am pretending I've never seen his house or him? Shit. Holy shit.

I'll have to say though, I liked her as a person, but I did NOT like her as Rob's girlfriend. She just didn't fit with his personality at all.

Also, I f*cked myself over... he found it so wonderful that I was great at being an "actress." So now, I'm even more desirable to him. A ??? who can be very very discreet. Shit.

Really, all those other things on my list don't even matter anymore. Today really really really hit a nerve. I was shaking the whole way home. Shit shit shit.

But yeah, Doug I think really likes me, we talk online every day. Sigh. I could like him that way, but I just don't.

I broke down and left a message on Tom's voicemail. Very nonchalant. We will see if he calls back.

I think I'm going to call Fida tonight. Hope that goes well.

We will skip the girl from Third Fed story for now.

Em, say you tell him you want the tickets. What if he says, ok, meet me here at this time and I will give them to you? I say don't do it. Also, wise choice about not going to Cincy twice.

Heather, there is a verrryy cute guy at Guitar Center near Great Northern Mall. He seemed just your type.

Anyway, I'm going to go freak out some more. Have a great night.

Oh, yes. One more thing.

Holy Shit.