Red-head

I dyed my hair. Big surprise... I think I change my hair so often no one notices anymore. Talking about no one noticing, my father still hasn't mentioned it yet. I mean, what is he going to say? Hey daughter, your hair is a different color than two hours ago when I left the house? Guess not. Mom should notice when she returns. It's my favorite color so far... I think I'm going to stick with this. Not only was it six dollars with ten percent off, (sale!) it's a beautiful dark brunette with great red hilights. Thirty minutes and five bucks is so much better than an hour and ninety. Plus, gorgeous red (red probably isn't the right word, since you don't notice the hilights unless I'm in sunlight...) is great compared to blonde blah. (On me atleast.)

Anyway! Went out with Tom to a movie. It went okay. He leaves Tuesday and I'm actually a little excited. I plan on swearing off men for a week... then seeing if I can last for a month. (Until he returns...) Don't ask why. (It has to do with some silly self-help-relationship book that I'm too embarrassed I read the first three chapters of.)

Heather, I think surprise party is too overdone. Cliche. How about everyone gives some money and buys her a great gift? Or you have a few close friends over to your house for a dinner party? (Or how about I sound like a middle class housewife?) Ok, so maybe I'm not the best person to be asking for great party ideas. I may suggest a tea party or something.

Emm, go you for loving your job! I enjoyed mine more this week. I'm looking forward to this week to come also... Monday off, Wednesday off, then three days and it's Sunday again. I can live with that.

Oh, what were you talking about with us coming to C-bus? I get off work on Saturdays at one thirty. Don't know if that would work in your plans.

Blah blah, I don't think I have anything else to say. Besides that I'm lovin the hair... I can't wait until you all see it.

OH!!! I forgot. Buying the keyboard tommorow!!! YES!

(Now all I need is lessons.... so I can use my expensive toy.)

Adios amigas!

Men, men, men

So the ladies at the bank decided to set me up with a guy.

It started with me being a dork, and commenting on every cute guy that comes into the bank. (You know me.)

So, the one lady mentions this guy that was in yesterday, she knows his mother... I remember seeing him and he was very cute. Ends up he's got some good money, he's Italian, and he's Catholic. Pretty sweet package and I haven't even met him. They decided next time that he comes in they should hook us up... but then we started talking about how that would happen. So far, this is what they came up with:

"Michael, this is MaryBeth. She's smart, she's Italian, she's Catholic, and I know your mother would approve. How about you take her out to dinner?"

These ladies rock. If they actually say that I'm going to fall of my chair and die... but you know. =) Wouldn't be the first time.

(Did I mention he was 28? A little old.)

Huh?

www.latergator.blogspot.com and latergator.blogspot.com bring up two different things. Both our blog, but one isn't updated. For future reference, don't use www.

I had this crazy wicked dream with Doug in it. "Goatee Doug" Heather-face. It was yesterday night, right after I had that convo with Emm about him. He was kissing me. He was quite skilled in the matters of romance ... let's leave it at that. In real life, he has no clue. Which was sad. I was quite attracted to him in my dream. Maybe it's telling me to give him a chance. Maybe not.

I finally called Fida. (Boy I emailed.) It was an uneventful conversation. He's going to call me back later when his girlfriend isn't distracting him. Too bad he's not single, he sounded quite sexy on the phone. I don't remember how cute he was in real life. Pretty cute I think. I'll have to find that picture of him again.

Why is it ALWAYS about boys?

I can't wait until tommorow. I'm waking up early-ish and walking a mile on the treadmill, since it is Health Week for Third Federal and I should put atleast a mile in. Then I'm going to visit the bakery my mum just started working at, get some great treats to take with me, and I'm heading over to the Third Federal I used to work at to visit all my friends. I'm going to finally make it to Walmart to print out pictures for everyone, then later go see Shrek2 with mum and Linds. THEN! Heather-face is going to visit me. I have no idea what we're going to do. But I'm excited!!

I'm sure you all wanted to know my plans for tommorow. Isn't this a great post?

I'm going to bed. Eak.

Perfection

I really am confused now.

Tom and I went out last night. Here's what happened. I broke down and called him Thursday, and he got back to me yesterday. He's in town, so we made plans to go out. He leaves Sunday, then is coming back next weekend... then flying to Fort Knox (however it's spelled,) and he'll be there for a month, then up here most of July. Anyway, that doesn't matter. What does is that work SUCKS... I really don't like my boss and it makes me mess up more than normal. She thinks I'm dumb or something. So Tom's like, hey, you need a beer. Friday at work was really stressful, so I agreed. So we went to BW3s, and had beer and wings. (One pint for me, and I was already tipsy.) Anyway, we were having a great time just talking. I don't think I've ever had so much fun with him. We had both began the night wanting dessert, so after we were finished he's like, hey, let's go to Bucca's and get dessert. We've done that a few times before, gone to Bucca's for dessert, and he knows I love it there... so it was a great, thoughtful suggestion. So we went and had dessert... omg.... tiramisu with fruit... it was awesome. and so we stayed there for an hour, until they kicked us out. (So, that was like three hours already just talking with him. And, the great thing, was we did talk about "us" but it wasn't uncomfortable and odd, just kinda going back through old memories.) So anywho, we get in the car and it's eleven already (I have to work Saturdays...) and he starts driving back to my house to drop me off. But we both didn't want the night to end, so he ends up passing my house and we just park and talk for another hour. We both said at the end of the night how awesome it was. Actually, it was great, he mentioned it first at Bucca's, what an amazing time he was having.

So here I am, on top of the world yet again. And I was thinking, I kinda am glad he didn't call me for two weeks. It gave me time to realize that the world still turns without him. It also made me realize that while I did miss him like crazy... I can live without him. I don't want too... especially after last night. Yes, he does make me miserable. But, then again, so do many other people. And, he does make me wonderfully happy. So far, I haven't found anyone just like him... who makes me as happy as he does.

I don't know, life is confusing. Love sucks.

But anyway, we're on the subject of guys again, so I'll just shut-up.

=p

Holy Shit

I have lots of things to say so I'm going to make a list to remember all of them.

1. Rob
2. Doug
3. Tom
4. Fida
(I think that's all the guy issues...)
5. Girl from Third Federal
6. Emily and your tickets
7. Heather and... something. I forget. (Later addition: Guitar Center!!)

Anyway, let's start with Rob because that is huge. That deserves a holy shit. So anywho, Heather called when I was with him today... but that's besides the point. Rob and I were going to Guitar Center because I'm buying a keyboard. (And I decided, a round stool... cause I find that more exciting than the keyboard... and a stand... and I was going to get a discoball for the apartment but it was like fourty bucks... hell no!) So anyway, we go, and I find a coolll keyboard for three hundred that I'm probably going to get by the end of the month. I want to save a bit more money first. So that takes about an hour or two... cause Guitar Center is so awesome. So we're driving back to his place, 'cause I met him there and he drove... and having tons of fun, connecting... really cool. At this point I'm getting nervous because Rob and I have always had that connection... the one where I start doing things before I think about how stupid it would be to do them.... that one. This story has a point I promise. Anywho!! We show up in his neighborhood and all of a sudden he's like, that's Chrystal in my driveway. (AS IN HIS GIRLFRIEND.) So he tells me very quickly before we pull into his drive that she knows he took me to Guitar Center. (I was freaking out.) Ok. Breathe right? So we get out of the car, and I've got my keys out, ready to leave. He introduces me, we make small talk about me not buying a keyboard, and I'm at my car door... and she's like... oh so I cleaned up the house, want to show her around?

AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, maybe I'm really freaking out about this whole issue. But I had to go into the house and pretend first, that I've never seen it before, and second that I really hardly know Rob at all, and he's just doing a favor for his brother's friend??!?!?!?!!

Ok ok ok. I'm sure now all of you are freaking out. I was a bad girl, I should have never ever ever done anything with a guy who had a girlfriend. But I did. And, for the most part, to make you feel better, I came before her... and unfortunately, he hooked up with her while I was at FUS last year, and "he and I" continued when I returned... even though she was in the picture. But, last summer, when she was out of the picture, we both were single. Promise. So, yeah. Two years of being Rob's ...?? And here I am pretending I've never seen his house or him? Shit. Holy shit.

I'll have to say though, I liked her as a person, but I did NOT like her as Rob's girlfriend. She just didn't fit with his personality at all.

Also, I f*cked myself over... he found it so wonderful that I was great at being an "actress." So now, I'm even more desirable to him. A ??? who can be very very discreet. Shit.

Really, all those other things on my list don't even matter anymore. Today really really really hit a nerve. I was shaking the whole way home. Shit shit shit.

But yeah, Doug I think really likes me, we talk online every day. Sigh. I could like him that way, but I just don't.

I broke down and left a message on Tom's voicemail. Very nonchalant. We will see if he calls back.

I think I'm going to call Fida tonight. Hope that goes well.

We will skip the girl from Third Fed story for now.

Em, say you tell him you want the tickets. What if he says, ok, meet me here at this time and I will give them to you? I say don't do it. Also, wise choice about not going to Cincy twice.

Heather, there is a verrryy cute guy at Guitar Center near Great Northern Mall. He seemed just your type.

Anyway, I'm going to go freak out some more. Have a great night.

Oh, yes. One more thing.

Holy Shit.

Stupid Banks

I got in so much shit today for nothing. It ended up not even being my fault. Grr.

Heather-face, I think I'm going to call you, we should hang out tonite. Rob's off tommorow, so I think that's when we will go out, and Friday I will come home and sleep cause I'll be tired after alllll day at the bank... and my mom is working every night until midnight from now till Sunday... so it is quite necessary for me to get out of the house.

I think I got my financial aid stuff but I have no idea what it means. All I saw was two envelopes and opened one, it said I owe back two hundred dollars, because it's a loan. That's a shitty loan, that's all I know.

Heather, also, you can't be the mom, I am. And secondly, I love the keyboard! Don't giggle! =)

That's about all for now. More later.

Blisters

Stupid old woman pumps. I've got blisters on my toes.

Eww feet.

Heather-face, that was like, two posts of you and guys... I have a feeling you're going to meet someone AWESOME this summer! I'm so glad you are having crazy fun with your friends back home. Oh, about us hanging... just give me a call, Rob and I are going keyboard shopping this week, so I'm not sure what night I will be free.

Oh yeah! OMG!! I told my mom about you bringing your drums and I was like, I should take piano lessons and bring my keyboard, and she's like, you should... and knows someone to ask about it... then she's like, but you should get a new keyboard, a full one, (mine now is really old and only half...) so I am allowed to get one once I get a paycheck... how fun! I'm going to bring it too.. we will be the musical house I tell ya...

I'm quite excited about that. If you can't tell.

Tom is online and he is not talking to me.

But don't worry Emmy, I'm trying to breathe. Whoosh.

I'm getting my haircut in an hour.

Did I post about the guy who would write notes to me in Math class years ago and how I emailed him? Well he responded and told me to give him a call. Interesting. =)

This is the most random dumb post ever. Adios amigas.

Ten Second Breakdown

It's been ten days.

First, why hasn't he called? Emailed, text messaged. Sometimes this new world of technology is a hinder because I know deep inside that there is no excuse because there are sooo many ways he can get ahold of me. It is impossible to NOT get ahold of me.

Second, I don't think I've ever felt this mix of emotions before. Hurt. Dissappointment. Resentment. Stubborn pride. Nostalgia. Every part of me wants to hold on, be optimistic, hope for the better, but then it isn't every part of me, because there is a part of me that wishes the rest of me could let go. I was cleaning out my closets yesterday and I found all these old notes from different guys, telling me how wonderful they think I am. Like Kamal did a few weeks ago, the banter of "you're beautiful, you're intelligent, you're amazing." If all these guys think/thought that about me, why do I hold on to the one guy who, right now, doesn't think that at all? Or let's say he does, why doesn't he tell me? Why doesn't he call???? Why?

I think that was more than ten seconds of a breakdown, but if we were back at XU I would be sitting in Em's room's bucket seat whining about this right now.

Ahh... tell me some happy stories ladies. I need a smile.

Wow.

I must say, even though I don't think I will ever be a "band groupie" I envy you. That must have been an amazing night... not to mention an amazing kiss!

Heather-face, I think we need to hang out before next Tuesday. I'm bored. How about this Wednesday?

Someone really should clue in Allyson.

Backup just a second

EMILY!!!

You made out with him? You drove two hours to CINCINNATI with them?? I think I need more details here woman.

Heather-face, since Kate is demanding we have hermit crabs, I suppose I will give up all and let you have a drum set. Maybe I should bring my keyboard and actually learn how to use it. Why am I the soccer mom? Really. You shouldn't have to ask permission. Just bring the damn thing.

I went out last night with Life Teen people, and there is a new guy that is in the group... he's twenty-five, pretty damn cute... Scuba Steve was all "up in my grill" about me flirting with the new guy... who's name is Scott. I'm just excited to see more of him this summer... =)

Anyway, Mom and I are going shopping at Lodi. Maybe I should call you Heather-face.

More later.

Me Blogging

Things have been crazy.

First, work just... well it is work. Everyone seems nice, but I'm really hating the hours, eight thirty to four thirty, then on Friday's eight thirty to seven... it's just a drag at times to wake up and go to work. And I can't wait (Sarcasm) to begin working Saturdays. Eck. This week though they gave me Saturday and Monday off... which is nice. We get a day off a week, plus Sunday, and mine happened to land in such a way that I got a long weekend. I was thinking about going somewhere, anywhere... but Chicago's out of the picture for now (Mom wants to go and she was busy,) and I haven't heard from Anyone in Cincinnati, including that Someone whom we won't mention, so it's not worth the $2.05 a gallon to drive down there to be dissapointed or annoyed.

What else? My parents (finally) got me a bookcase/shelf thingie...so I can take all my books out of my closets, and it's a wonderful addition to my colorful room. I love it, five shelves of books that represent who I am. I especially enjoy the first shelf of Nancy Drew's and American Girl's. I need to go thrift store-ing to find some more ND's. Never can have a full collection of those.

Last Monday I went out with church friends, it was an interesting night. We went to a coffee shop we always used to hang out at... christian open mic night on Mondays. I felt a bit uncomfortable, it's a problem when you'd feel more comfortable in a bar drinking $2 draft versus on a couch in a coffee shop drinking your grande $5 latte. I don't think it had anything to do with what I was drinking. Perhaps more with who I was associating with. Anyway, later tonight I'm trying again, and hanging out with some old Life Teen catholic friends... we will see how it goes. I'm going to be with them all day tommorow, there is this big Life Teen thing, so hopefully tonight goes well.

I will also see Rob tommorow... the older guy... a bit nervous, but oh well.

I'm getting my hair cut on Tuesday... I'm thinking about growing it out a bit, but I don't know how it will look come August so it may get chopped off again in the name of having a style.

I miss the Someone who hasn't called me... but I keep on glancing over at my bookshelf and wondering if I will find someone who will make my toes curl even more and have more of the same interests that I do. (As in, wouldn't it be great to go to bed with someone who also sleeps with books? In English, my double bed is big enough to leave my current novel right where it falls as I fall asleep myself... I'd love a guy who reads as much as I do.) Wait, maybe then he would be gay. Anyway.

What else? Oh! Cleaning out my room today I found this old note from a guy back in 1998... this guy Fida (he is Indian, great great guy... ) and I used to write notes back and forth in Math class... I had a big thing for him but he couldn't have a thing for me because he is going to have an arranged marriage. Anyway, we used to write these deep poetic notes ... all through junior high, but then in high school we started hanging out in different groups and hardly talked anymore. He gave me his senior picture and on the back wrote a surprising letter... "regardless of what opinion you have of me I still think you are an intelligent, capable, vibrant, and not to mention beautiful woman." It's interesting he put that especially since we hardly talked the last few years of high school... but anyway... my point being, on his senior picture he included his email so I emailed him... we will see if he still has that email and if I get an email back. It would be nice to get in touch with him again, I haven't seen him since graduation.

Well. I think that's more than enough for now. I miss you all a bunch. This is going to be a longggg summer.

Write and write and write some more.

Whaoo!

Welcome to the new blog roomies. Can't wait to start posting.