hugging the porcelain god

No, I did not get so drunk as to be "hugging" it. Actually, I only drank two, very awful, Bud Lights. Honestly. Why do people drink that stuff? Better than the other option I suppose... Natty. Anyway, went to my friend Kimberly's last night for some bonfire-ishness and beer. She was in France for the past semester, and is going to be leaving to go back to school in a week. I guess she got an apartment with a friend and needs to move in now. Met a guy from X. He was a friend of Kim's boyfriend. I thought I recognized him, and he said it could be from church up here, but then Kim started talking to me about school and he said that he went there too. How random.

Anyway, I'm in a shitty mood cause my fam is being crazy. We went to noon mass then were going to go out to eat, but Linds threw a fit because she had nothing to wear (though she was wearing something to church... so that doesn't make sense,) then Kel threw a fit because Linds is "ruining her life," and then Mum threw a fit because she wanted to have a "nice day off," and she's "the only one who ever does anything around here." (Even though if you point out everything you did do, it doesn't make a difference, she still plays the "woe is me" card.) It ended up with everyone running into their rooms and slamming their doors. I ran into mine and slammed it too just to join the crowd. Then Dad, left alone without a door to slam, tried getting Linds dressed and just made matters worse because she threw a temper tantrum and started fake crying (the most pathetic thing I've ever heard, especially since she's going to be in 8th grade...) and Kel started screaming and so did Mum. So I'm just sittin here wishing I wasn't sittin here and getting quite hungry.

Sigh.

My forget about guy week went not so well. I've seen slight improvements, but it needs work.

The forget about Tom thing is a mess. I was in the mall and found myself pretending to be interested in purchasing his cologne... and now I have a swatch of it in my purse ........ crazy woman I am. There are moments when I don't think about him at all... then there are moments where I am so wrapped up in missing him it hurts.

I talked with Doug for two hours online last night. We were flirting a bit. I told him about my crazy dreams of him, he told me how he made the bunk beds one big bed. He asked me to come visit, I told him I didn't think so. He's amazing. I admit. But he's also not for me right now. It's like what Tom is always telling me, he can't start something with me unless it's going to be serious, and long term. I feel that way about Doug. I don't think I could go down there for a weekend and fool around. (If he even knows how to fool around.....) I can't start anything with him until I stop quoting Tom, smelling Tom's cologne, and thinking about being Mrs. Tom.

Well, time to find some food in this house. Em-face, I have this coming up Saturday, Sunday, and Monday free. Lets do something. Maybe Allyson-face and Scott-ith can drive up and join us. Call me. Or, I'll call you.

So long, farewell, auf wiedershen, adieu. To you, and you